What Do I Say to my Young Adult

Tips on Talking and Role Modeling

Even though your child is now an adult, they still look to you for guidance. Your actions, values, and choices continue to influence them as they navigate this stage of life.

Starting the Conversation

Talking about alcohol or drugs may feel uncomfortable for both of you. Choose a good time and start the conversation in a calm, open way.

• Let them know you want to talk, not lecture
• Listen to their thoughts and opinions
• Respect their independence
• If they are not ready to talk, try again later

Your young adult may respond in different ways, such as:

• Wondering why you are bringing it up
• Thinking you will not understand
• Worrying about being judged
• Acting uninterested
• Feeling their privacy is being invaded

Stay calm and focused on:

• Showing care and concern
• Trying to understand their point of view
• Respecting their independence

Before the Conversation: Be Informed

Be ready to share clear, accurate information, including:

• How alcohol and drugs affect the body and brain
• Risks such as injuries, poor decisions, and health problems
• Legal and school consequences
• Effects on grades, jobs, and relationships
• Risks like accidents or unsafe situations
• Ways to handle peer pressure
• Healthy ways to get involved in school or the community

What to Say: Starting the Conversation

Start with open-ended questions:

• “What are you most excited about right now?”
• “Is anything stressing you out?”
• “What do you think this next stage will be like?”

Then ease into the topic:

• “What are your thoughts on alcohol or drugs?”
• “How would you handle a situation where you are offered something?”
• “Who would you go to if you needed help?”

Keep it a conversation, not a lecture.

Sharing Information

Share facts in a simple, non-judgmental way:

• “Alcohol and drugs can affect memory, focus, and decision-making.”
• “Binge drinking can lead to serious health and safety risks.”
• “Using substances can impact school, work, and relationships.”

Setting Expectations

Be clear about your expectations while showing support:

• “You can always come to me if you need help.”
• “Your safety and future matter to me.”
• “I expect you to make safe and healthy choices.”

Role Modeling: Leading by Example

Your behavior matters.

• Model responsible choices around alcohol
• Never drink and drive
• Avoid joking about risky behavior
• Be honest if you have made mistakes, and focus on what you learned

Real-Life Moment

Practicing Low-Risk Alcohol Use

If alcohol is part of your life, model safe habits:

• Plan ahead for a safe ride
• Set limits and stick to them
• Avoid using alcohol to cope with stress
• Do not feel pressure to drink

Communicating Through Text

Simple messages can show support:

• “Hope you are doing well. Stay safe. Love you.”
• “Be yourself and make smart choices.”
• “I’m proud of you.”
• “Call me if you need anything.”
• “I trust you.”
• “Check in when you can.”
• “I’m always here for you.”

Remember: Look. Listen. Love.

Your presence matters.

• Look for changes in behavior or mood
• Listen without interrupting or judging
• Love your child through support and understanding

Staying connected, even as they grow more independent, helps them make safer and healthier choices.