You don't have to be a parent to make a difference. Coaches, teachers, mentors, youth leaders, counselors, family members and other trusted adults can all help young people make healthy choices and feel comfortable asking for help. Small conversations can make it easier for young people to talk when something bigger happens. You don't need the perfect words. Start with a question, listen without judgment and keep the conversation going.
Ways to start the conversation
- “What do you think about drinking and how it affects people your age?”
- “What have you heard about alcohol from your friends?”
- “Do you ever feel pressure to drink or fit in?”
- “What do you think makes it hard for someone to say no?”
- “What would you do if someone offered you alcohol?”
- “What could you say if you wanted to leave a party where people were drinking?”
- “What would you do if a friend had been drinking?”
- “Who would you feel comfortable calling if you needed help?”
- “Have you ever been somewhere where alcohol was being used by people your age?”
- “Is there anything about drinking or parties that you've been wondering about?”
If a young person tells you something
How you respond can determine whether they come back to you the next time they need help.
Try saying:
- “I'm glad you told me.”
- “You can talk to me about this.”
- “Let's figure this out together.”
- “Are you safe right now?”
- “What do you need from me?”
- “You won't have to handle this alone.”
Keep the door open
A young person may not open up the first time you ask. That's okay. Listen more than you lecture. Ask questions instead of making assumptions. Stay calm when they share something difficult. Every conversation builds trust—and that trust can matter when a young person needs someone to turn to.
Remember
You don't have to be their parent to be their person. A trusted adult can be the person who notices, listens, answers the phone or helps a young person get home safely. Sometimes, one conversation is enough to make a difference.