A child’s brain is under construction. But that’s good news for prevention! In this episode of Parenting Unfiltered, host Sara Kapp sits down with Dr. Crystal Collier (therapist, educator, person in long-term recovery) to translate neuroscience into daily family habits that build real-world resilience.
Protect your brain, grow your skills,” Dr. Collier says. “I’ll be your frontal lobe until you grow one.
- Episode 1: Healthy Habits for Healthy Minds: Screens, Sleep, and Winter Routines >
- Episode 2: Small Routines, Big Resilience: Real-Life Tools for the Early Years >
- Episode 3: Building Resilience Through Play: Simple, Open-Ended Wins at Home >
- Episode 4: Big Feelings, Sibling Squabbles, and Holiday Survival: Practical Tools from the Therapy Couch >
- Episode 5: Protecting the Growing Brain: Love, Limits, and Everyday Prevention >
Why Brain-Based Prevention Works
Kids’ brains change rapidly (about every three months). Short, repeated conversations that match their stage beat one big talk. Teach what the brain can do now, what it can’t yet, and how family rules protect development. Same message, age-right details.
Small Habits, Big Protection
- Delay screens until after age 2; keep recreational use limited and off school nights.
- Prioritize connection: eye contact, play, and shared meals (even “car picnics” before practice).
- Chores build self-efficacy (“If they can, they should”) and strengthen coping.
- Predictable rhythms: homework spot, device basket in the evening, lights-out with the same book.
- Model it: when your child walks in, look up and put the phone down: “You’re my priority.”
Screen Time, in Plain English
Active body play > passive swiping.
Apps can teach facts; real-world puzzles, block towers, and messy art teach frustration tolerance, fine motor control, and persistence. Keep “learning” tech as a supplement, not a substitute.
Emotion Coaching in 3 Steps
Think movement and rhythm indoors: chair forts with a sheet, hall “stepping stones” from paper plates, or Janet’s favorite afternoon bath time—bubbles, scoops, figurines, 45–60 minutes of calm sensory play for them (and a reset for you).
Conflict, Screens, and Other Real-Life Moments
- Name it: What am I feeling?
- Need it: What does this feeling tell me I need or want?
- Do it: What can we do to meet that need safely?
Practice during calm moments so kids can find the steps when emotions run high.
The Family Code
Co-write a simple poster: Who we are, what we do (and don’t), and why. Use it to cue micro-conversations year-round (e.g., National Smokeout Day → “Here’s how nicotine affects the brain—and what our family does.”)
Micro-Conversation Starters by Age
- Ages 5–7: “What does your brain help you do at school today? How do we keep it strong?”
- Ages 8–10: “What are some ways screens help—and ways they get in the way? What’s our plan tonight?”
- Ages 11–13: “If a friend shares a risky link/video, what’s a one-liner you can use to bail out?”
Keep it light, 3–5 minutes, and repeat every few months as the brain grows.
School as a Partner
Prevention scales when schools “plug and play” short lessons that build executive function across topics (tech, substances, pornography). Add warm, daily connection—from morning greetings to consistent language about protecting the brain.
Warmth + Limits = Authoritative Parenting
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Balance love with firm boundaries: “I’m keeping your brain safe. As you show judgment and self-control, you earn more freedom.” Use brain-based praise:
- “You showed great impulse control.”
- “Smart problem-solving—walk me through your steps.”
Repair out loud when you miss it: “I was stressed and snapped. I’m sorry. Next time I’ll take a breath first.”
I’ll be your frontal lobe until you grow one—love plus limits keeps the developing brain safe.
A Brain-Friendly Weeknight
After school: snack + water → 20 minutes solo play → homework in a distraction-free spot.
Evening: device basket after dinner → family time (game, walk, read aloud) → repeatable wind-down.
Try Tonight
- Dinner check-in: one “rose” (good), one “thorn” (hard), one feeling, one coping tool.
- Write the first three lines of your Family Code—values, one “we do,” one “we don’t.”
- Bedtime read-aloud: same book, same order, same cozy spot. Routines = safety.
If you’re feeling behind, you’re not alone. Start with one habit tonight, share a meal, name a feeling, or post the first draft of your family code, and let the routine grow with your child’s brain.
Explore more episodes of Parenting Unfiltered for practical, judgment-free tips you can use today. Watch on YouTube or listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and find recaps, handouts, and pocketbooks on the Parents Lead website. New episodes drop throughout the season. Follow and share to support North Dakota families.