Starting the Conversation: What to Expect
Talking with teens about alcohol, drugs, and other risks can feel tough. It is normal for teens to push back or seem uninterested. Still, research shows that parents are one of the most trusted influences in a teen’s life.
Keep these things in mind:
- Show that you care and love your teen
- Let them know you want to understand, not judge
- If they are not ready to talk, try again later
- Stay calm, even if they react strongly
Teens may respond in different ways, such as:
- Questioning why you are bringing it up
- Worrying they will get in trouble
- Thinking you will not understand
- Acting like they do not care
- Feeling their privacy is being invaded
These conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they get easier over time.
What to Say
Share clear, accurate information
Talk about real risks of underage drinking and drug use, including:
- Car crashes or injuries
- Poor decision-making, including unsafe situations
- Trouble in school or sports
- Relationship problems
- Effects on brain development and mental health
- Risk of addiction
Empower your teen
Help your teen think through situations before they happen.
- Talk about peer pressure, including at parties or online
- Practice ways to say “no”
- Ask what they would do in a tough situation
- Make sure they know who to call for help
Be clear and consistent
Set clear expectations and follow through.
- Explain family rules about alcohol and drug use
- Talk about school and legal consequences
- Be clear about what will happen if rules are broken
Show support
Let your teen know you are always there.
- Tell them they can call you anytime for help or a ride
- Remind them their safety matters most
- Keep the focus on support, not punishment
Keep the Conversation Going
- Ask questions instead of giving long lectures
- Keep talks short and ongoing
- Look for everyday moments to check in (car rides, meals)
- Be a role model with your own choices
- Be mindful of how you talk about alcohol, vaping, or drug use
Real-Life Situations
Party with Alcohol
Situation: Your teen wants to go to a party where alcohol may be present.
Response
“I’m not comfortable with you being somewhere with alcohol. Let’s talk about other options where you can still have fun and stay safe.”
“Weed Is Safer”
Your teen says marijuana is safer than alcohol.
Response
“Some people think that, but marijuana can still affect your brain, mood, and decision-making, especially for teens. What have you heard about it?”
“It’s Natural, So It’s Fine”
Your teen says marijuana is safe because it is a plant.
Response
“Just because something comes from a plant does not mean it is safe. It can still affect your health and choices. What do you and your friends like to do for fun that does not involve substances?”
Text Message Reminders
Short messages can go a long way:
- “Have fun. Make smart choices. Love you.”
- “Be yourself. Stay safe.”
- “I’m proud of you.”
- “Call me if you need anything.”
- “I trust you. Love you.”
- “Check in when you can.”
- “I’m always here for you.”
Technology and Today’s World
Teens today face both in-person and online pressure.
- Talk about social media influence and trends
- Remind them that what they post can have real consequences
- Discuss vaping, edibles, and prescription drug misuse
- Set clear expectations for phone and app use
Consider creating a simple family agreement for phone use:
- Set screen time limits
- Talk about safe and respectful behavior online
- Keep devices in shared spaces at night
- Review rules together and adjust as needed