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All children that may be involved in bullying, whether they are the child being bullied, bullying others or seeing others being bullied, can be affected. It is important that you support all children involved to ensure it doesn’t continue and the issue is addressed.
Signs a child is being bullied.
Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs.
Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are:
- Injuries that they are unable to explain.
- They report frequent headaches or stomach aches and not wanting to got to school.
- Changes in their eating habits. A child may skip meals, want extra food or engage in irregular eating patterns.
- Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares.
- Missing items
- Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
- Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
- Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
- Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide.
Signs a child is bullying others:
A Child may be bullying others if they:
- Are getting into physical or verbal fights
- Display increasingly aggressive behaviors
- Blame others for their actions
- Have unexplained new items or belongings
- Have friends who bully others
- Display competitive and worry about their reputation
If your child is being affected by bullying they may not always ask for help. Children do not tell adults they are being affected by bullying for many reasons:
- Children often times want to feel in control and handle the situation on their own. Children do not want to be seen as a tattle tale.
- Children often fear that if they seek help they will experience backlash from the child who bulled them.
- Children may often times be feel humiliated if they experienced bullying. A child may fear that adults will “punish” them for being weak.
- A child who is bullied may already feel socially isolated and that no one cares or understands their situation.
- A child will often times fear being rejected by their peers if they seek help.
If you know someone in serious distress, do not ignore the problem. When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable.
- Support your child if they are being bullied
- Ensure you are listening to your child and hearing what they are saying to you. Learn what has been going on and let them know you want to help and how you are going to help.
- Assure that the child that is being bullied that it is not their fault and that they did nothing wrong.
- Understand that if your child is being bullied, they may struggle to talk about it with you or anyone. You may have to find another trusted adult like a school counselor, family member or a mental health professional to help out.
- Give your child advice about what to do if it happens again. Role playing with your child is a great step with helping them know how to respond. Allow the children to walk through different situations and help them think through how they might react if it happens again.
- Work together to resolve the situation and protect your child if they are being bullied. This may include the child, other parents and school or organization they are involved in.
- Be persistent and understand that the bullying may not end overnight.
Mistakes to avoid:
- Never tell your child to ignore the bullying.
- Do not blame or shame your child for being bulled. Even if he or she may have provoked the bullying, no one deserves to be bullied.
- Do not tell your child to fight back against the child who is doing the bullying. Your child could get hurt or in trouble.
- As a parent, you should not contact the other parents involved as it may make the matters worse. Contact the school or other officials to be mediators between the parents.