Peer pressure is a normal part of growing up. Friends can influence everything from clothing choices to risky behaviors. By starting age-appropriate conversations early, you can prepare your child to make confident, healthy decisions.
Tips for Talking with Your Child at Every Age
Early Childhood (Ages 3–6)
What to Know
At this age, children want to belong and be liked, but they’re still very influenced by adults. They may copy friends’ behaviors to feel included.
Tips
- Teach the difference between good choices and poor choices.
- Encourage kindness, sharing and speaking up when something feels wrong.
- Praise your child for being themselves.
Example Conversation
“If your friend tells you not to share your toy, what could you do? Remember, we always try to be kind and make choices that feel good inside.”
Elementary School (Ages 7–10)
What to Know
Friends become more important and children start noticing peer approval. They may feel pressure to act “cool” or to fit in.
Tips
- Role-play scenarios (e.g., being pressured to laugh at someone, copy homework).
- Teach refusal skills: saying “no,” suggesting another activity or walking away.
- Reinforce that it’s okay to make different choices than friends.
Example Conversation
“What would you do if your friends wanted you to skip practice, but you didn’t want to? Let’s think of ways you could say no without losing friends.”
Middle School (Ages 11–13)
What to Know
This is a high-pressure stage—kids may face situations involving bullying, substance use or online behavior. Fitting in often feels critical.
Tips
- Talk about peer pressure openly and often—don’t wait for a “big issue.”
- Encourage critical thinking: “What might happen if…?”
- Share your values and expectations clearly, while keeping the conversation open.
Example Conversation
“If someone at school offers you a vape, how could you handle that? What are some ways to say no that still feel comfortable for you?”
High School (Ages 14–18)
What to Know
Teens are more independent, but peer influence is strong, especially around risk-taking (driving, relationships, substance use). They also influence each other positively, so help them find supportive friends.
Tips
- Validate how hard it can be to stand up to peers.
- Practice refusal strategies that feel natural for your teen.
- Encourage choosing friends who respect their boundaries.
- Share real-life examples of positive peer influence.
Example Conversation
“I know it’s tough when friends push you to do something you’re not comfortable with. What’s a way you could respond that feels true to you?”
College & Young Adults
What to Know
Even as young adults, peer pressure plays a role in choices about lifestyle, finances and relationships.
Tips
- Encourage them to trust their instincts and values.
- Discuss long-term consequences of choices.
- Remind them it’s okay to seek out friends who support their goals.
Example Conversation
“If your roommates are spending money you don’t have, how could you set boundaries while still keeping a good relationship?”
Key Takeaway
Talking about peer pressure at every stage helps your child build the confidence and skills to make healthy choices. Start early, keep the conversation open and let your child know you’re always there to support them.