Play is a child’s work and their gym for flexibility, and problem-solving. In this episode, early childhood specialist Janet Bassingthwaite shares how everyday, low-prep play grows the skills kids need to cope, connect, and thrive.
You’re practicing persistence and problem-solving in a fun moment so the brain can find those skills later in a hard moment.
Why Play Builds Resilience
Real play is active, hands-on, and sensory. When kids stack blocks or invent a game of “hot lava,” they’re rehearsing turn-taking, frustration tolerance, and flexible thinking. Janet’s take: practice the skills of tough moments during fun moments, so kids can access them when it’s hard.
Unstructured doesn’t mean a free-for-all. There are still clear boundaries and safety.”
Unstructured ≠ Unsupervised
Missi describes having home visitors sit next to her in the hard moments, like a 7 a.m. dressing battle, and coach her through one plan with accountability and empathy. That support helped her stay consistent and calm.
Offer voice and choice. Set the stage (materials, space, simple rules like “Play-Doh stays in the tray”), then follow their lead. Read body language: an averted shoulder means “not now;” eye contact invites you in. Scaffold quietly. Build your own sturdy base next to their wobbly tower and wonder out loud: “I tried two blocks under mine… what happens if you try?”
Budget-Friendly Setups That Travel Anywhere
You don’t need fancy toys. Flexible materials spark longer play and stronger skills.
- Create kits: things like blocks, boxes, crayons with scrap paper, tape with cardboard tubes or a few puzzles.
- Sensory & “heavy work”: a tray of rice or water, window-washing with a bucket and rag, moving chairs to build a “bus,” laundry basket “rowboat.”
Puzzles are hard work: frustrate, pause, return. That cycle is resilience.
North Dakota Winter? You’ve Got Options
Think movement and rhythm indoors: chair forts with a sheet, hall “stepping stones” from paper plates, or Janet’s favorite afternoon bath time—bubbles, scoops, figurines, 45–60 minutes of calm sensory play for them (and a reset for you).
Conflict, Screens, and Other Real-Life Moments
Let small sibling conflicts breathe before you guide. Name feelings, separate if needed, and circle back to repair. Don’t skip the follow-through. Screens can teach facts, but they’re mostly passive; real-world puzzles, blocks, and pretend play engage body + brain for deeper regulation.
Micro-Connections That Count
Build connection into routines so you can drop the guilt about “doing more.” Eye contact during diaper changes, a 90-second chat while setting the table, “I Spy” in the car—tiny, repeated moments add up.
A minute of genuine attention is better than a perfect activity you never start.
Try This Tonight
- Face-Freeze Game: make a feeling face; others guess it and share a “what helps” strategy.
- Turn-Taking Story: “I went to the store and…” trade lines on the couch or in the car.
If today felt messy, you’re not off track. As Janet puts it: give yourself grace. Try one small setup, name what went well, and build from there.
Explore more episodes of Parenting Unfiltered for practical, judgment-free tips you can use today. Watch on YouTube or listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and find recaps, handouts, and pocketbooks on the Parents Lead website. New episodes drop throughout the season. Follow and share to support North Dakota families.