Starting the Conversation: What to Expect
Talking about alcohol or drugs may feel uncomfortable for both you and your child. That is normal.
- Choose a calm time to talk
- Let them know you want a conversation, not a lecture
- Listen to their thoughts and respect their independence
- If they are not ready, try again later
Your young adult may respond in different ways, such as:
- Wondering why you are bringing it up
- Thinking you will not understand
- Worrying about being judged
- Acting uninterested
- Feeling their privacy is being invaded
Stay calm and focus on:
- Showing care and concern
- Listening and understanding
- Respecting their independence
Before the Conversation
Be prepared with clear, accurate information.
Topics to cover may include:
- How alcohol and drugs affect the body and brain
- Legal and school consequences
- Impact on grades and future goals
- Risk of injuries, accidents, and violence
- Risk of unsafe situations
- Effects on relationships and mental health
- Ways to handle peer pressure
- Healthy ways to get involved on campus or in the community
What to Say
Start with questions
Help your young adult open up:
- “What are you most excited about right now?”
- “Is anything stressing you out?”
- “What do you think this next stage will be like?”
Ease into the topic
Keep it a conversation:
- “What are your thoughts on alcohol or drugs?”
- “How would you handle a situation where you feel pressured?”
- “Who would you go to if you needed help?”
Share information
Offer facts in a simple, nonjudgmental way:
- “Alcohol and drugs can affect memory, focus, and decision-making.”
- “Binge drinking can lead to serious health and safety risks.”
- “Substance use can impact school, work, and relationships.”
Set expectations
Be clear, while showing support:
- “You can always come to me if you need help.”
- “Your safety and future matter to me.”
- “I expect you to make safe and healthy choices.”
Role Modeling
Your actions influence your child’s choices.
- Model responsible behavior with alcohol
- Never drink and drive
- Avoid risky situations
- Get help if you have concerns about your own use
Be mindful of past stories
Sharing stories about past drinking can send mixed messages.
- Focus on what you have learned
- Be clear about your expectations now
- If you have shared stories before, revisit the conversation and clarify your values
Modeling Low-Risk Behavior
If you choose to drink, show safe habits:
- Plan ahead for a safe ride
- Limit how much you drink
- Avoid using alcohol to cope with stress
- Do not rely on alcohol for celebrations
Your behavior helps shape how your child views alcohol use.
Key Reminders
- Keep conversations open and ongoing
- Ask more than you tell
- Stay calm and respectful
- Focus on safety and support
- Lead by example
Staying connected and consistent helps your young adult make safer, healthier choices as they gain independence.