Alcohol and Underage Drinking Resources

April 21st is PowerTalk 21 day — the national day for parents and teens to talk about alcohol, using MADD’s Power of Parents program as a guide.

MADD’s Power of Parents program is a research-based program designed to give parents the tools they need to tackle underage drinking with their teens. It includes free, brief workshops in communities across the country and a parent handbook based on the research of Dr. Robert Turrisi at Pennsylvania State University. Parents can get conversation starters or a free copy of the parent handbook at http://www.madd.org/underage-drinking/the-power-of-parents/

Go to http://www.madd.org/underage-drinking/the-power-of-parents/ and download your free parent handbook today!

Recent research, published in the journal Human Communication Research, found that children whose parents did not disclose drug use, but delivered a strong antidrug message, were more likely to exhibit antidrug attitudes.
Past research found that teens reported that they would be less likely to use drugs if their parents told them about their own past drug use. In Kam and Middleton’s study, however, Latino and European American children who reported that their parents talked about the negative consequences, or regret, over their own past substance use were actually less likely to report anti-substance-use perceptions.
Kam and Middleton’s study identifies specific messages that parents can relay to their children about alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana that may encourage anti-substance-use perceptions, and in turn, discourage actual substance use. For example, parents may talk to their kids about the negative consequences of using substances, how to avoid substances, that they disapprove of substance use, the family rules against substance use, and stories about others who have gotten in trouble from using substances.
“Parents may want to reconsider whether they should talk to their kids about times when they used substances in the past and not volunteer such information, Kam said.” Of course, it is important to remember this study is one of the first to examine the associations between parents’ references to their own past substance use and their adolescent children’s subsequent perceptions and behaviors.” For the full article see http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/02/130222083127.htm

We love to reminisce about our children’s firsts: the first smile, the first tooth, the first steps, the first words and more. But your child’s first temper tantrum or hitting another child at daycare over a toy are generally not the kind of things we like to remember. Although they may be things we want to forget they are the beginnings of your child’s social development and are opportunities to help your child be a successful social being. The social skills you build with your child today are the foundation for friendships and resiliency for those tough teenage years. Play with your child and model appropriate skills of sharing and getting along. Help your child learn to develop relationships by getting together with friends with children the same age, spending time with grandpa and grandma, and supervising play time. What seems like simple easy steps today can set the stage for strong resiliency skills in the future.

Sometimes as parents it is hard to understand how a lost toy can compare to our pain of losing a loved one or job. But to a child, this is a real problem and they really just need you to listen and understand their pain. When children learn that emotions are real and okay to feel they are learning the skills that help cope better with problems. It is during those times when our children are overcome with those uncomfortable feeling such as: sad, angry, frustrated, or lonely we can give them the gift of coping skills. As children learn their emotions are important and someone else wants to learn about them, they in turn will learn to have empathy for others. Being better equipped to form positive relationships is just another protective factor to help your child face the future temptations with risky behaviors that include using drugs and alcohol. The following quote sums up just how important it is to listen to and accept children’s emotions.
Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.
Catherine M. Wallace

When a school shooting occurs, like the Sandy Hook Elementary School or Virginia Tech shootings, it may make your child feel vulnerable. They may need help coping with their feelings. Parents should “check in” with their children of every age to see how they’re feeling about the school shooting. It is important to know what children are thinking or feeling and be prepared to support them.
Keep in mind the age of your child
The age of your child will make a difference in how you need to react. Preschoolers through age five may have seen reports on the news. Begin by saying, “That looks pretty scary, doesn’t it? What do you think about it?”
For school age children, ask if they have seen the reports and talk about your own feelings by saying, “I’m very sad for all of those people and their families.” Go on to discuss that it is important not to let what happened scare us so much that we don’t have fun and enjoy our lives. Remember that young children react largely to the attitudes and emotional responses of those around them. The meaning of an event for children is drawn more significantly from the reactions of others than from the event itself.
With older children and teens, it is more effective to talk about your own feelings first. If you share your feelings, it may help your teen to talk about the tragedy and their own fears. For emerging adults on college campus’ you can also discuss the safety procedures of their specific campus. ”It is important for children of all ages to be reassured about their own safety.”

Is your young teen ready to face choices about alcohol, drugs, relationships, or other risky behaviors? Your connection to your child can help them be prepared and to make healthy decisions.  The key can be found in how you listen to your teen.  Many times we give too much information and what our child really needed was for us to just listen.  When we talk we tend to judge, fix, moralize, minimize, negate, belittle or shame our children, which only makes our connections weaker.  Teens will talk more when we talk less so first use the power of silence.  Then use brief statements like the following to get your teen to continue talking:

• Tell me more…..
• Wow, you have quite a story to share …..
• Oh, my keep talking.  I’m really interested….
• It sounds like you have a lot on your mind, so I’m glad you’re talking….
• You are doing a great job of describing what happened….

What are your elementary child’s favorite movies and television shows? Cars 2, Smurfs, iCarly, Wizards of Waverly Place? Are you aware of what messages these shows promote about alcohol? If you are thinking that these shows are for kids and don’t have messages about alcohol you might want to sit down with your children and watch for a while. A recent Nickelodeon show had the main characters at a “party” where the only adult present was chasing a person in a panda costume with a bat and all of the underage party goers were drinking out of large plastic cups. Not only are our children exposed to these images of the fun party attitude, research tells us that children are exposed up to 2000 alcohol advertisements annually of which are mostly aired during teen-oriented shows and sports programing.
As a parent this information can be troubling. But there is good news too. A reason children list for not drinking is that their parents talked to them about it. So sit down with your child today and see what they are watching on television. Talk about the messages that are being promoted and how they might conflict with your family’s values and reality.

Drinking and driving can be deadly for teens. We’d like to encourage you to take a moment to read this valuable information, provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, on what you can do to prevent this!
http://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/TeenDrinkingAndDriving/index.html

Have you ever had a moment when you didn’t know what to say to your child(ren) about alcohol? Take time out during Red Ribbon Week to visit www.parentslead.org to find tips, tools and suggestions on how to start the conversation today. Red Ribbon Week is an alcohol and drug prevention awareness campaign taking place Oct. 21-28, 2012.
Parents are the #1 influence in a child’s life! Having ongoing conversations with your child(ren) is an effective way to prevent underage drinking. Parents LEAD (Listen, Educate, Ask, Discuss) provides information on how to start the conversation at any age. Parents can sign up for monthly emails based on your child’s age, ask Dr. Query a question, follow the blog, take the parenting style quiz, browse the resources, follow us on Facebook, and much more.
Families can also participate in the ‘National Red Ribbon Week Photo Contest’ by using this year’s theme: “The Best Me Is Drug Free.” Families can take the theme and decorate their door, mailbox, fence, etc. and take a picture with your family in front of the decoration and upload to www.RedRibbon.org. If your family has the most votes in your region, you win an Ipad2 and $1,000 for your school!